SPAM: delicious and nutritious!

 

I open up my email box

And find my daily treat;

A thousand wondrous offers

And deals you just can’t beat!

 

You can escape your credit debt

By mortgaging your son;

You can enlarge your penis

Into a ten-pound gun.

 

With patches pills and potions

Your willie will expand,

Until it’s like a third leg

You can use as a kick-stand.

 

And if you’re feeling lonely

At home with that new dick,

You can pay fifty a month

To meet the perfect chick.

 

She’s blonde, she’s young, she’s horny,

She’s guaranteed to please:

Just send your credit numbers,

Address and front door keys.

 

And if you’re low on money

After all this is done,

There are investment offers

And contests to be won!

 

I find it so amazing

That I can hardly choose

Among these awesome offers

That I just can’t refuse!

 

I’m so awed and overwhelmed

That I delete the bunch,

But there’ll be more tomorrow

Let’s just call it a hunch.